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Guest Post – My First Visit To Thailand

This guest post is from a reader who randomly came across our website when first considering a trip to Thailand. The below post outlines his life changing adventure to Thailand where he was able to experience life like a King.

Enjoy :)


This is my follow up after my trip to Bangkok and Koh Samui. To quickly cut to the point:

I CAN’T WAIT FOR MY NEXT TRIP TO THAILAND!

I was so glad to come across your site about Thailand and be informed Kings of Thailand style. It made for an unforgettable experience!

As I’m writing this a few weeks after my trip, not everything I mention will be in chronological order, but you’ll get the gist of it!

BANGKOK TIME!!!

My first night that I arrived, it was close to midnight that I arrived at my hotel (which was the Citadines on Sukhumvit 23). I felt sick because I got drunk on the plane with a nice French girl seated next to me, so by the time we landed I felt horrible (can’t take the landing too well with alcohol).

I highly recommend the Citadines hotels! They are serviced apartments, 4 of them in the Sukhumvit area. For my first days in Bangkok I stayed in the Soi 23 Citadines and for my last few days in the Soi 8 Citadines.

Both are prime locations, because every taxi driver knows quick routes to Soi 8 and there’s the Climax club almost right next to it. And Soi 23 is tucked away in a more quiet street but the massage parlors are amazing and the BTS and MTS are around the corner literally (also, Soi Cowboy is just up the road ;) ).

To name a few things I did in Bangkok during my first trip:

*Saw Transformers in 4d in the amazing Siam Cinema.

*Had a few White Russians in the Banyan Tree Hotel.

*Had lunch on the corner of a busy street opposite a Siam Commercial Bank, here is where I met my first Thai girl who was with her friends out for lunch as well (also my first Thai girl I did not have to pay for!) First thing I did was buy a Thai Sim card the next day so we exchanged numbers and met up that night for a few drinks at RCA (forgot which club) and made our way to my hotel. 

*Got approached by this Thai man on the street willing to show me around to travel agents and tailors. Now this is a form of a scam because they will take you to places where they get a commission. But I thought let’s play along with it, I wanted to compare prices anyway of travel agents (but not buy anything). After he realized that I was on to him in terms of not buying anything he gave up, and started telling me about his life and son and wife. I was amazed by this because he reminded me so much of my dad that I just sat there nodding thinking, what a lovely man! (no homo)

*Went to Soi Cowboy hoping to see some good shows, only to find out I missed the shows. But they seated me with this French guy who didn’t know what he was doing. We started talking and shortly after we were on our way to Royal City Avenue (RCA). Here we got completely shit-faced. I ended up taking a Thai girl to the hotel and so did he. Again, not paying because even though I was drunk. But I managed to put my charm on her and at least say I’m not paying for anything, which she was fine with.

I found this to be the easiest way to not pay because a girl that likes you won’t mind after you pay her a few drinks, a girl that doesn’t will go away but you’ll find another one soon enough.

*Woke up, put the girl on a motorbike and had some lunch. Got a text from the girl from the bank saying she wanted to come to my hotel for lunch. That was a Thai booty-call, because soon enough she left again to go back to work. Crazy!

Then it was time for my trip to Koh Samui. I bought the ticket at the train station directly which was the cheapest option. Boarded the train at 6pm, had dinner in the train’s restaurant around 8 where I met a few Dutch people to chat with and play cards with.

Went to bed and when I woke up we were almost in Surat Thani. There I got on the bus to the pier and then a boat to Koh Samui. My hotel in Samui was the Chaweng Lakeview Condo. Again, an amazing hotel in a quiet location, easily reachable by motorbike (with taxi not so much, beware of this!) and a great studio apartment as well!

KOH SAMUI TIME!!!

*Had a drink while a cover band was playing in the first bar on Soi Green Mango. Met a guy from Chili and we ended up going to Green Mango and Sound Club later. He met some Thai girls after I got back from the toilet and so I started talking to the gorgeous friend of this girl. Went back to my hotel and the next morning I thought I was going to pay up, because we hadn’t discussed anything. But she didn’t mention anything. She even called her friend to pick her up instead of a taxi!

This was my first night in Samui, hadn’t even unpacked properly so I was pretty amazed.

*Got a motorbike from the hotel and made my way to the Jungle Club. There I was met with an amazing view of the ocean and the island and a great reclining seat with arm rest for the cocktail.

*Had dinner in Fisherman’s Village, great cozy streets are in this neighborhood and the restaurants are great!

*Wanted to go to the Reggae Pub, but the taxi dropped me off at the start of Soi Reggae. As I got out of the taxi, I heard screaming around me. I turn, and there was a line of about 10 girls blocking the street, all smiling at me and hugging me trying to get me into the bar.

This was an overwhelming feeling, as close as a rockstar I’m going to get. What should have been a 2 minute walk ended up being 20. Soi Reggae was a lot of fun, and the way back through that street as well. Ended up playing some pool in one of the places and taking the number of a girl I thought was amazingly gorgous to meet up another night after her shift.

*Started pre-drinking at the Ark Bar with my friend from Chili and made our way to Green Mango again later. There I met up with the girl from the bar, and as I could have guessed it, she wanted me to pay for her, only this time no bar fine. I contemplated this for a long while and decided to go for it, because I thought she was the most beautiful girl I had yet to meet!

To my disappointment, she was horrible in bed. I felt stupid because I had broken a rule I made for myself to NOT pay for a girl.

*Swam in Lamai beach and had those great burgers at the Bikini Bar.

*Went out one more time and there I was surprised by the girl I met the first night. She came over with a bucket and told me to share with her. Later that night, more fun in the bedroom ensued!

Then it was time to go back to Bangkok again, same route and when I came over. Now my second time in Bangkok, things got a bit more X-rated than the first time.

BANGKOK TIME AGAIN!!!

*Had a drink in the Bayoke Hotel, which is even higher than Banyan!

*Had a soapy “massage” at Annie’s Massages. Recommendation!!!!!

*Saw Captain America at the Nokia UltraScreen, which is an amazing cinema experience!

*Had lunch at the Siam Centre at their food court which is amazing in itself. You get a card which you top up with an amount and then you go around the whole floor buying food you want. The choices are overwhelming.

*Went to RCA again and walked in as Steve Aoki was spinning some records. It was great! The Thai people went nuts and were jumping, dancing, pumping their fists and even moshing a bit. Great D.J.!

*Went to the Climax club for an after party. Met some girls that were sipping their own bottle. I bought another one and we had crazy fun. I liked one girl which I was focusing on, not paying any mind to the friend that was also dancing with me was also interested.

What happened next I could not imagine in my whole life…

Both of them wanted to come with me! What happened with the 3 of us in the hotel was just amazing.

*My last night in Bangkok I was too tired to go out partying all night again. So I decided to go to Soi Cowboy again in time for the shows. I went to a few bars, not really thinking the shows were amazing until I decided to try Shebas.

This place apparently had lesbian shows…that I again just missed! But as I was talking with one of the waitresses, she told me that I should talk to the mamasan. Which I did.

A very friendly lady approached and I told her I was curious to see one of the shows. I decided to buy her a cocktail just for being friendly and that’s when she said, sit down with me, show in 5 minutes. We sat at the stage and what happened in front of me was unimaginable!

First 2 girls did a body paint show, then a girl came on stage and did the infamous Pussy Gymnastics/PingPong show, and then 4 girls came out and went into an all out lesbian orgy! All that for 1 drink for myself and 1 for the mamasan. This was the last of my memorable activities there, the next day I boarded the plane and already missing Thailand!

Now I do want to add a few things as a side note. I was glad to have seen the infamous Ping-Pong show at Soi Cowboy because I wanted to see it but not go to Patpong. I heard many stories about it being terrible for foreigners so I avoided it but therefore thought I would miss out on the show. Also, I avoided the Khao San Road as well because that’s where all the Tuk Tuk Drivers and Ladyboys hang out to scam tourists.

I lived like a king on a budget because of KoT and this made my trip amazing! If I ever see you guys I would have the feeling to bow down to Gods and thank you in person. :)

If there’s anything negative I can say, it would be that sometimes I was annoyed by the aggressive sales approach by some Thai people. These were people on the street selling things from stalls, but even tuk tuk drivers and some taxis. But I think that because I was alone for a part of my trip they seemed to take notice of that. When I met some friends to hang out with this hadn’t occurred.

I hope my little story is fun to read and also inspiring for any future readers that want to visit Thailand. I can’t wait to plan my next trip and I will try to plan as many trips as I can before eventually settling down, he he! This has definitely become my new haven to escape daily life and have a lot of fun and live good. Again, I just want to say you guys have an amazing site going and people need to realize how much more realistic KoT is than any other site giving tourist information.

See you all in Thailand next year! ;)

Posted on Gods of Thailand October 2, 2011 in

ABOUT SEVEN

Seven in the founder of Gods of Thailand.com which is dedicated to teaching men how to have the best fucking time in Thailand without the bullshit. Seven is also the author of the infamous book, "The Complete Guide to Thai Hookers" and many other Thailand guidebooks.

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3 comments
  • Phil says:

    Great article you can’t beat the enthusiasm of a newbie who experiences Thailand for the first time and thinks they’ve gone to heaven. The trick of course is to maintain that enthusiasm over the years and not fall into the trap of marrying the wrong person and losing the faith. There’s plenty of real useful information to guide the Thai newbie now so I hope you can continue to live like a King.
    All the best Phil (19 years visiting – second wife !).

  • Great guest post, thanks for contributing.

    A few things that I have to comment on:

    * Isn’t it funny how the hottest girls tend to be the worst in bed? Not always the case worldwide, but this tends to be true more times than not in Thailand.

    * Boyoke Hotel…will need to check it out for a drink. Next time you stay in Bangkok, try getting a drink at Oscars on Sukhumvit Soi 11. This is an upscale establishment with some very nice looking girls.

    * Love how you got a free lesbian show at Soi Cowboy. Well done!

    * Right on with the threesome in Bangkok. Two girls are always better than one :)

    Next time you’re Thailand, shoot us an email and we’ll meet up for a few beers.

    -KoT