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First Night Back in Bangkok – WTF Was I Thinking…

First Night in Bangkok

She has her finger to her lips signaling me to be quiet.  She thinks she is being quiet…she thinks she is being smooth.

A couple minutes later my friend says, “You do realize I can feel the bed moving up and down.”

Apparently she wasn’t that smooth.  I pick her up and move to the living room.

At 5pm we wake up.  I can’t remember her name but decide to get her phone number anyway.  Since my phone is in pieces from the night before, I enter the number into my Ipod touch.

She tells me she doesn’t think I’ll call.  I tell her life is full of surprises and give her a high five.

I think to myself,

Not a bad first few hours in Thailand…

-FEW HOURS EARLIER- 

After a two month vacation in the United States, I arrived in Bangkok last night by a 25 hour flight.

This stay in Thailand is planned to be a little different.  Don’t drink as much, start a consistent gym schedule, less women, and focus a little more on business.

It was a good plan…

Normally when I arrive in Bangkok, I drop off my bags at a hotel and get an hour massage for $9.

However, since I haven’t seen my friend for a while, I had the taxi drop me off at his apartment.  We head out to the clubs two hours after later.

It’s Wednesday night, a little after midnight.  We start by going to Narz Club which was completely dead.

(Note to self, don’t go to Narz on a week night, only go there Friday and Saturday nights.)

My buddy tells me he has a bottle of Vodka at Climax club…

It’s pretty packed but we still manage to get a good table in the middle of the action.

I’m completely sober, tired, and not quite feeling up to the full club experience.

We mix a drink and chat.  I turn my back on my drink for a minute and notice it’s a bit stronger than my previous sip.  The first of the drinking games begin.  Whenever the other isn’t paying attention, add more vodka to their drink.

(Note to self, going to a packed club while sober sucks.  Pre-funk first.)

An hour later I have a decent buzz going on.  I look around at what kind of options are available.  I’m not pleased with what I see.  The place is packed, but zero hot 20 year olds.

Most look good from far, but as you get closer, you find out they are cute 30 year olds.  (Which for most isn’t a big deal, but I like my women between the ages of 18 and 22.)

I check my phone and complain about my crappy the HTC Diamond 2 which uses the terrible windows mobile operating system.

My friend asks to see my phone and then drops it into my drink.

I laugh and congratulated him for buying my shitty HTC phone.

(Game number two begins, find entertaining ways to destroy a $500 phone.)

We finish the bottle and move to Insomnia club a little after 5am.  I’m kind of surprised that I am still awake…fuck Redbull can be powerful!

The lobby is dead.  I ask to look inside, they say no.  I have to ask another three times before I am allowed a peek inside.  What I see puts a smile on my face.

(Note to readers, though it can be difficult, always try to look into the club before you pay the entrance cover charge.  If it’s dead, go to another club.)

We meet a new friend at the entrance who we name, “Mark #2”.  He is a foreigner who has been living in Thailand for the last ten years and apparently speaks perfect Thai.

The three of us split a bottle of vodka with mixers for 1,800 baht, which is about $60.

Where Climax was full of women who were in their 30s, Insomnia was full of women in their 20s.

We drink and chat.

There is a cute Russian girl sitting next to our table.

My friend starts talking with her while I’m focusing on Thai girls.  (Normally I would work on a foreigner if the opportunity presents itself, but since this is my first night back to Thailand, I was craving some Thai.

The club closes at 6:30am and we go eat at an American type diner which is open 24 hours and serves great burgers.

I have a Thai girl and my buddy is with the Russian.

The four of us go to my buddy’s place which is a 5 minute walk.  Since I didn’t check into a hotel yet and it already being 7am, I decide to crash there.

They disappear in his room.  I mess around with my girl on the sofa.  Thirty minutes later the four of us are in the living room and we are all chatting.

The Russian tells us that she has some hot Russian friends in Pattaya who likes to fuck.  (Her words exactly).

My friend and I plan an upcoming trip to Pattaya…

(Note to self, Thailand never disappoints!)

The Russian leaves…

I’m tired and migrate to my friend’s room.  The three of us lie on the bed and go to sleep.  (Not a gay thing, the girl was in the middle.  The only acceptable way to share a bed with another dude.)

I wake up in under an hour and find that my girl is on top of me moving as quietly as possible.  I look down and see that I had a condom on.  I wonder to myself,

“How the fuck did she do that without waking me up…”

She has her finger to her lips signaling me to be quiet.  She thinks she is being quiet…she thinks she is being smooth.

A couple minutes later my friend says, “You do realize I can feel the bed moving up and down.”

Apparently she wasn’t that smooth.  I pick her up and move to the living room.

At 5pm we wake up.  I can’t remember her name but decide to get her phone number anyway.  Since my phone is in pieces, I enter the number into my Ipod touch.

She tells me she doesn’t think I will call.  I tell her life is full of surprises and give her a classic American high five.

I think to myself,

Not a bad first few hours back in Thailand…

Posted on Gods of Thailand September 3, 2011 in ,

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