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We have a guest post from Marco. Marco has never been to Thailand before. However, with the help of this site and how he utilizes the information, he has the best fucking time any man could ask for.
You’ll Read About:
I am not sure what words I keyed into google but I stumbled upon the Gods of Thailand website rather by coincidence. This was about a month ago. Since then I have read all the posts at least twice, booked a flight to Bangkok and decided to stay of booze and girls for two weeks in order to prepare for the holiday of all holidays.
This is the story of what happened in paradise during an eventful month.
As a zealous student of the GoT website I decided to take two pieces of advice immediately:
1. Join a dating website. I chose Thai Cupid about a week ago.
2. Get a Thai SIM for my blackberry
For the first night I had a date lined up with Napa. Her English was good but more important she was cute, seemed sweet, natural looking and quite elegant. She is a secretary for a construction company.
Not the hottest girl on the website but I liked her a lot. She chose HOBS for a drink. HOBS serves strong Belgium beers and these beers certainly got her in a relaxed state of mind.
Two hours later around 10pm we were in a taxi back to my hotel (Aloft on Sukhumvit 11, awesome place). Very nice session. Like a real man I fall asleep very soon afterwards. Sex, jetlag and Belgium beers got the better of me.
At 3am Napa wakes me up to say she needs to go back to her apartment in Bang Na because she has work tomorrow morning. We have sex again. After a shower she asks if I can walk her downstairs to a taxi.
I never saw Napa again but she made my first experience with a Thai good girl very memorable.
The next day I recover from the previous 48 hours near the hotel pool. Later in the afternoon I check my messages on TLL and a new window opens up on my screen. Direct chat! I check out the girl’s pictures (yes I am that shallow) and am pleasantly surprised.
One thing, she is married. It took less than 5 minutes for her to make perfectly clear that she is indeed married and is in Bangkok to be naughty.
An hour later she is waiting for me in the lobby of my hotel. She looks amazing in a short tight black dress and killer heels that really show off her figure. What followed in the next four hours was the best most outrageous sex I experienced EVER.
No joke. When we are well and truly done I barely make it to the bathroom. By the time I come back she has turned the room which looked like a Mogadishu warzone before I hit the shower back into what it was when the hotel cleaner left this morning. The bed is perfectly made although the sheets might need to be retired off. Then she tells me her story.
Her husband is English. They met online, he came to Bangkok last Christmas, he slept with her and three days later asks her to marry him. Well she is good but this is probably a little crazy. She was in Bangkok to sort out some visa details so she could go to England. She shows me a picture of the two of them together and I feel genuinely sorry for the guy.
Less than 24 hours in Bangkok, two girls and none of this fun has cost me a penny. I have no intention of keeping up this average by the way. This is supposed to be a holiday.
In this spirit I decide to check out Angel Witch at Nana Plaza which I can recommend to everybody. Nice show, hot girls and reasonable prices (beer BHT 120, lady drink BHT 150). I chat to Amm for over an hour and buy her two drinks. She was great fun and totally deserved the commission she made on her drinks. Despite her efforts to move our relationship beyond the two drinks I say my goodbyes and promise to be back one night and take her home with me.
Somehow I feel that she might be worth the BHT 5000 for an all-night session but I need to be fully loaded to justify that sort of expenditure. Then again BHT 5000 buys a lot of Grey Goose and that in return buys limitless fun. I crash out early that night with a big smile on my face.
This is the day that I intend to try my luck in one of the local clubs. Despite an impressive number of cute opportunities I have grown bored with internet dating. So around 7pm I leave the hotel in search of a few warm-up beers.
I have taken the GoT advice by wearing a nice shirt for the occasion. Around 9pm I find myself in Soi Cowboy. For some reason it is not working for me. I feel my energy levels dropping and my shirt is soaked in sweat. I try to fight it by starting up some conversations and get some adrenaline going but everything that comes out of my mouth is terminally boring. This is completely pointless. I admit defeat and return to Aloft hotel to do the only sensible thing, sleep.
I set the alarm for midnight and wake up complete refreshed albeit a bit dazed. Nothing a few vodka red bulls can’t solve. I go to Q-bar as it is just around the corner from my hotel. The drinks, the music and the presence of loads of beautiful girls are having the desired effect. I chat to loads of people, guys, girls, tourists and Thais. The party atmosphere is building.
Then an absolute dream of a Thai girl approaches me and I take an instant liking to her. She speaks perfect English and tells me she works in the hotel industry and is about to move to Dubai next week. She tells me her name, which, as usual, goes in one ear and out the other. I should stop asking really.
The rest of the night she will go by the name of Cute. Cute introduces me to her friend Hot who must be a model and if she isn’t she should consider a career change. She is tall, beautiful shiny hair up to her hips and the longest legs I have seen in a long time.
Hot in any ‘normal’ country is way out of my league. Not that it matters, it is Cute I want. We chat, laugh, dance and she holds on to my arm the entire time. Cute is serious girlfriend material. Meanwhile Hot bounces around on the dance floor much to the delight of every guy in the club. Then for some unknown reason Cute throws in conversation that she is not a prostitute. I have no idea how to take that comment and apologise if she feels that is how I treated her (which I didn’t).
I am perplexed and leave Cute alone for a while and start chatting to a couple from Germany. Occasionally Hot pulls me on the dance floor. I admire her boundless energy. Cute however seems to have disappeared. The lights eventually come on and the music stops. I thoroughly enjoyed my night. I hug my new German friends and slowly leave Q-bar wondering if I should try Insomnia.
Cute and Hot are sitting outside the club on the pavement and tell me they were waiting for me. I mention Insomnia but they say they are tired. I suggest coming back to my place to chill out. An idea that meets with their approval.
Cute stands up, grabs my arm. Hot does the same. There I go for a 5 minute stroll with a beautiful girl on each arm.
Back in the room I put on some music and dim the lights. Cute relaxes on the bed and I join her. Hot picks the sofa but I tell her to join us on the bed which she immediately does. Cute cuddles up to me and is not far away from falling asleep. That is not what I had in mind. I move onto my right shoulder and put my left hand on Cute’s thigh. She removes my hand but kisses me gently on the cheek almost as if to say ‘not tonight’.
Hot is on my left with her back to me. A nice guy would just go to sleep but the vodka has taken over control of my judgement. After a few minutes of contemplating what to do I turn on my left shoulder moving away from Cute and sort of ‘spooning’ Hot.
I put my hand on her stomach and she puts her hand on mine and then backwards on my neck. I move my hand upwards under her top and find a bra with an awful lot of padding.
I kiss her neck and Hot purrs gently. I throw caution to the wind and move my hand south to find Hot dripping wet. Her hand by now has opened my zip. Hot finds in there what she was looking for. As we play Hot’s purring gets louder. Off come my jeans and her skirt.
Then Cute wakes up and shouts something in Thai which makes Hot jump off the bed to start desperately scrambling for her skirt and underwear.
Cute leaves the room without even looking at me with Hot right behind her. Before Hot closes the door she gives me a wry smile and tells me she is ‘solly’. And so my hot streak comes to a sudden halt.
I go back to Nana Plaza. Before checking out a show I have a beer in one of the bars downstairs. Minutes later a Thai guy takes the seat next to me, smiles and says hi. I shake his hand and introduce myself. He does not tell me his name.
He proceeds to ask to me questions. First where I am from. Then about Amsterdam, why I am in Bangkok and what I do for a living but he ignores every question I ask him. Meanwhile more and more Thais stand outside the bar but right in front of the two of us. They chat to my new friend. He seems to know them and introduces me to some of the cuter girls. A little girl shows up. She can’t be more than 18 years old and he buys all her roses which he distributes amongst his ‘audience’ I am starting to like this guy. He buys all the Thais a drink as well.
He is softly spoken and seems quite humble. He then gives BHT 500 to a random girl who returns with a tray full of satay minutes later. The satay is shared around.
Another girl shows up selling bracelets and beads. I buy a necklace and a bracelet. My friend smiles appreciative and buys a bracelet as well. The waitress passes me another beer that I did not order. My Thai friend raises his bottle and says ‘cheers’.
My curiosity gets the better of me and ask him, “Who are you? I get the impression you are famous. What do you do?” He smiles at me and says, “It’s complicated.”
He finishes his beer, says goodbye and leaves the bar. To this day I have no idea who he is.
I go upstairs to Spanky’s which is super fun. I get chatting to my neighbour who retired from banking and left England to set up his own business in Bangkok. Good man.
Next is a visit to Liquid but that proves a to be a mistake. I don’t like the vibe. I cut my losses after one beer and jump in a cab to Mixx. That is more like it. I chat to a few girls and eventually settle for Pearl. A theme is developing. I notice that I tend to go for the most elegant girl and not the sexiest since I arrived on these shores, presumably in a subconscious attempt to find good girls.
This theory gets blown out of the water when Pearl discretely tells me she is ‘working’. I think ‘what the hell’ and tell her that that is cool with me. We party until 4am. I enjoy her company. We walk hand in hand out of Mixx and return to Aloft.
Pearl is a completely different experience to married Naang from a couple of days ago. That was an award winning porn star experience. Pearl however is intense and sensual. This is more like making love to girlfriend. As a pleasant bonus Pearl proves highly multi-orgasmic. I switch off my Ipod docking station and the dimmed lights at 7am. Another night in Bangkok.
I wake Pearl up at 11am and tell her ‘I need to be somewhere’. I am already dressed. She showers, we have sex, we shower again. Before we leave the room she brings up the subject of money. Ouch. Forgot all about that. I consider asking her to pay me seeing how the night unfolded but decide not to be a jerk. Not sure if mild sarcasm works in Thailand. Instead I empty my pockets and handover the lot. The pile of wrinkled notes doesn’t even make BHT 1000.
Pearl is not impressed. I shrug my shoulders. Still she writes down her number and says, “Would you like to see me again?” I kiss her on the cheek and wish her a good day.
I am surprised how unbelievably unproductive I have become during the day. I eat, sleep, go for massages but I have not seen any of the sights in Bangkok. Culture does not seem to feature high on the agenda on this trip.
Today is a Buddhist holiday and as a result no alcohol is for sale. Most clubs and quite a few bars did not even bother to open. The ones that are open are deserted.
Some bars are emptying beer bottles in polystyrene cups but I am not that desperate. The break will do my liver some good.
Instead I treated myself to an extended dinner with a bottle sparkling water to wash it down. Rock & roll. After a walk to let my food go down I have a 90 minute relaxing full body massage. I say relaxing but a tiny woman in her thirties beats the living daylights out of me. She gives me knees, elbows, forearms, the works. I find it a miracle that you actually feel better at the end of a session.
That concludes the first part of my journey. Tomorrow I am off to the airport but I am still undecided whether to fly to Samui, Phuket or Pattaya. Last minute decisions are usually the best.
So here I am in my hotel room writing this story. Just a few observations based on a 5 night stay:
– It is worth choosing a nice hotel. Treat yourself. Life is too short to stay in a shit hole. Aloft is part of the very contemporary W-group. A room with aircon, large bathroom, mini-bar, super king-size bed, big screen TV, Ipod docking station will set you back BHT 2500 (GBP 50, U$ 80) per night. In every other major city in the world this would not even buy you a bed in a hostel.
– If you are staying a month or even longer, internet dating does give you an enormous amount of opportunities. Also, cute Thai girls are everywhere. I ended up talking to cute women in bars, clubs, shopping centres, sky train and on the street. It only takes a smile and a bit of friendly banter. Don’t be shy, honestly.
– Yes. the hype is true. You will not believe how much fun I had reading the GoT posts in mentally preparing for this adventure. Now I have a few stories of my own and there are still three weeks left on this trip. Roll on part 2.