The Thailand Lady Boy Survival Guide – Never Be Tricked By a Ladyboy

I didn’t know.  I met her in Bangkok at one of the night clubs on Khao Son Road.  It was late, I was with my three friends, and it was our first trip to Thailand.  The club was dark, she had an amazing body, and she wanted to go home with me.

I rented a different hotel room so I didn’t disturb my friends.  She sat me down, took off my clothes, and started to give me a blow job.  I felt her amazing fake tits.  I worked my hand down, lower, and lower…

I froze.  Time stood still.  I repeated to myself over and over, “Please, this can’t be happening to me.  This must be a bad dream…”

My beautiful Thai girl had a dick!

I pushed her off and got up to leave.  He-she laughed and told me she’s going to stay in the room for the night.  I looked at her in disbelief and said, “I don’t give a fuck.”

I slammed the door and wondered if this makes me gay or just stupid….

This is a story that was told to me from some English tourists who came to Thailand for the first time.  In fact, this happened on their first night in Thailand.

This is not a unique story.  Many men have been tricked, manipulated, and fooled by lady boys because they don’t know what signs to look for.

That time has come to an end.  We have grown tired of hearing of tourists getting “screwed” by Thai lady boys.  Because of this, we have created “The Lady Boy Survival Guide.”

What is “The Lady Boy Survival Guide?”  It is a guide created by the Gods of Thailand to guarantee that the above situation will never happen to you.  Follow it and protect yourself from the “he-shes” of Thailand.

The Lady Boy Survival Guide:

Step 1 – Where Are You

Want to learn the best way to avoid lady boys?  Don’t go to any tourist traps.  Lady boys make their money from tourists that don’t know they are lady boys or from tourists who like lady boys.

If you’re in Bangkok, you’ll find many more lady boys in clubs near Khao San Road than you will in clubs like RCA.

Lesson 1: Avoid high traffic tourist areas.

Step 2 – Is She Tall

Is the girl tall?  If so, then more tests will be required.  It is not an absolute fact, but it’s a good rule of thumb, Thai lady boys tend to be tall while Thai women tend to be short.

Lesson 2: Height is an indicator.

Step 3 – Fake Breasts

Does she have fake breasts?  Beautiful tall women with fake breasts may be common where you’re from, but in Thailand it increases the chances that you’re really with a man.

Lesson 3: Fakes breast are great on women, not so great on men.

Step 4 – Look at Her Hands, Feet, and Adam’s Apple

Lady boys tend to have hands and feet as large as yours.  Is this the case with the girl you are talking to now?  If so, be afraid.

The Adams apple is a different story.  If she has an Adams apple the size of your balls, run the other way.  If she doesn’t have an Adam’s apple, that doesn’t mean anything.  It’s very easy for lady boys to have a surgery that shaves the Adams apple down so it’s not noticeable.

The hard core lady boys that have their penises removed will also have their Adam’s apple shaved down.

Lesson 4: Large hands and an Adam’s apple are not good signs.

Step 5 – Your Surroundings

Did you meet her in the darkest part of the club?  Is the music so loud that it’s hard to hear her voice clearly?  Are you drunk?  These types of surroundings are a lady boy’s dream.

Lesson 5: Lady boys hang out in the darkest and loudest parts of the club.

Step 6 – Ask

Ask if she is a lady boy.  Most will tell the truth, but some will not.

Lesson 6: Ask and you shall receive…sometimes.

Step 7 – Ask Your Friends

Unless your friends are real assholes, they should give you honest feedback on what they think.  If they are not completely sure she is a lady, move on.

Lesson 7: Good friends can save you from waking up next to a man.

Unbreakable Rule from the Gods of Thailand

If the above is too much to remember in your drunken state, follow this one simple rule when you go out to meet Thai women.  This one rule has rarely failed:

The more you drink, the shorter she has to be.

Don’t even talk to a tall Thai woman if you’re drunk.  The risk is too great.

The sad fact in Thailand is, sometimes lady boys look very beautiful.  They can be tall, have great breasts, and an amazing ass.  They are manufactured to have the perfect shape that men desire.

Extra Tip: For those of you that don’t mind sleeping with a woman who has had a kid, do the baby test.  Look for stretch marks, saggy breasts, and a stomach that is not firm.  If she had a child, she is obviously not a lady boy.

Follow our advice and never experience the dread of waking up next to a Thai lady boy…again :)

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  2. Randy Williams 6 months ago

    You can also ask to check the “girl’s” ID. Every Thai ID has the word Miss, Mrs. or Mr. depending on sex before the name of the person. A good pretext to do this is to flatter the “girl” and ask to check her age to make sure she is of age to go with you. If a girl is not carrying the Thai national ID (issued to every Thai citizen) or refuses to show it, then it is wise to excuse yourself and take a rain check until she can show ID. Note that these titles do NOT change even if the person has an operation which turns them into a female–so if you see a girl’s ID listing her as MR. then she is a MAN, plain and simple.

  3. Rand 6 months ago

    A man cannot straighten his arm beyond 180 degrees. A woman can!

    • Gods of Thailand 6 months ago

      Next time I’m harassed by ladyboys, I’ll put this to the test.

      Good tip!
      -Seven

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  5. neell 7 months ago

    how to find nice female companion free of cost in phuket

  6. Wang 8 months ago

    Haha, that story was interesting. I had a same experience in Manila, Philippine, beautiful girl approached me, she was tall, silky hair, nice butt, etc. But i was not too late , that she can reach to my room. lol. If you are enough smart, listening to their voice is important.

  7. Verywierd 8 months ago

    The simplest thing is to only take girls from the Go-Go bars like those in Nana Plaza. There are ladyboy bars there too, but they will tell you up front that they are ladyboys. Sometimes they don’t say anything because they assume you already know. So if in doubt, ask.

    More doubtful are the post-operation ladyboys, who, with some justification, consider themselves “real” women and may reply that way if asked.

    Picking up freelancers of any sex is always a more risky proposition.

    • Kings of Thailand 8 months ago

      Can’t argue with that. Go-Gos is the easier method. But many guys, including myself, love hitting the clubs and seeing where the night takes you. Which is where this little guide can be vital.

      As they say, “There are a million right ways to do one thing…”. And I guess whoring can fall into that category as well.

      -Seven

  8. Ian Roberts 8 months ago

    S/he will be looking every five minutes into any reflective surface to make sure s/he is still beautiful. My cousin is a kathoey so I know it only too well !

  9. unknown 8 months ago

    What a complete discriminatory article.

  10. Josh Quigley 8 months ago

    Rule #9 – Girls can hyper-extend their arms. Guys can’t.

    This is by far the best and easiest check. Get them to straighten their arms. If they don’t hyperextend, they have a penis.

    • Kings of Thailand 8 months ago

      I’ve never heard that before. I’ve notice that some women’s arms sometimes hyper-extend, but no idea that statement could be considered an absolute. I’ll need to check into that.

  11. Alfred Humseh 9 months ago

    What´s the panic?? I had my best BJ´s from Ladyboyz..and they not get pregnant ;)

    • Kings of Thailand 9 months ago

      LoL, I’m glad you were taken care of. Lady boys aren’t my thing, but plenty of others enjoy the “third sex” of Thailand.

  12. tristar 1 year ago

    grab the cock and if your hand find something sticking out, then run like hell.

    • Kings of Thailand 1 year ago

      LoL.

      Yep, when I first came to Thailand I always did the “check” before leaving the club.

      • Vic 1 year ago

        KoT, whats the “check” involve?

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  14. Pants 1 year ago

    One rule system:
    When in doubt. Don’t.

    Applicable to other decisions with potentially soul destroying, permanently debilitating, ego destruction or just exposure to something you just can’t un-see no matter how much you want to forget. as outcomes.

    • Kings of Thailand 1 year ago

      Yep, can’t go wrong with the “One Rule System”

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  16. dontlikemenw/tits 3 years ago

    I would add an 8th rule to that list:

    Rule # 8: Listen to the voice!

    If s/he has a deep voice, it’s a pretty good indication.

    Also, if s/he tends to keep his/her voice down, it might be because s/he is trying to hide that deep masculine tone.

    S/he may look hot, that is, until s/he rowrs “Suck my cock!” in that low manly growl.

    • Kings of Thailand 3 years ago

      LoL, Great tip!